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One move per page

Writing clearly, one move per page

The twenty-four moves that get your emails read, your reports understood, and your point across.


Steve Hodgkiss 8 moves

A diagram, the classic mistake, and one thing to go try. That's a page.

Writing clearly, one move per page

The twenty-four moves that get your emails read, your reports understood, and your point across.


Set in Space Grotesk, Inter and JetBrains Mono (SIL Open Font License).

Guidance checked against the Purdue OWL concision, active voice and nominalization pages, the US federal plain language guidelines at plainlanguage.gov (digital.gov), the National Archives Top 10 Principles for Plain Language, the UNC Chapel Hill Writing Center handouts on conciseness, word choice, paragraphs, transitions and audience, and the Harvard College Writing Center's revision guidance. BLUF and the inverted pyramid are described in their standard published references.

General guidance for workplace writing. House style and legal wording in your own organisation win.

Your purchase is for personal use only. You do not have redistribution rights: please do not share, resell, or republish this book or its pages.

© 2026 Steve Hodgkiss. All rights reserved. Personal use only; no redistribution rights.

Edition 1.0 · stevehodgkiss.net

Contents

Contents


Part 1 · Before you write4
Know the reader5
Lead with the point6
Part 2 · Sentences that move7
Cut the throat-clearing8
Active voice9
Part 3 · Words
Plain words beat jargon10
Part 4 · Structure11
Headings that answer12
The inverted pyramid13
Part 5 · Editing passes
Subject line as promise14
Part 1 of 5
Decisions that beat any wording
1

Before you write

Most unclear writing was decided, not worded: who it is for, what the one message is, and what the reader does next. Five moves you make before typing a sentence.


In this part
  1. 01Know the reader
  2. 02Lead with the point

Every piece of writing has a real reader with their own knowledge, their own worries, and about twenty seconds. The move is to write for that person instead of for the topic.

Writing · No. 01
Before you write

Know the reader

Fixes writing that is accurate but useless to the person holding it

ONE DRAFT, TWO READERS. THE WORDS THAT WORK DEPEND ON WHO IS HOLDING THEM.same fact: the refund is 14 days late“The processor flags delayed payouts for review.”written for the finance teamtrue, and useless to its actual reader“Your money arrives by Friday. Here is why.”the reader decideswhat they already knowwhat they want from youhow much time they havewrite for that person, not your topicUNC: before writing, know who will read it, what they know, and what you want them to do.Ask of every draft: would this person nod, act, or reply with a question?

The trap is writing for the person you just talked to: your team, your manager. The reader gets accurate answers to questions they never asked.

UNC's Writing Center: work out who will read it, what they know, and what you want them to do next.

Name the reader, name their question, answer that first.

Writing for a topic informs nobody. Writing for a person moves them.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

Before your next email, write one line: who reads it, and what they must do after. Send only what serves that.

Busy readers decide in the first lines whether to keep reading. BLUF, bottom line up front, puts the decision in line one and the reasons underneath it.

Writing · No. 02
Before you write

Lead with the point

Fixes writing that saves its conclusion for a paragraph nobody reaches

BLUF: BOTTOM LINE UP FRONT. THE DECISION IN LINE ONE, THE REASONS UNDERNEATH.the slow build-upOver the last quarter wereviewed three suppliers andweighed cost, speed and riskpoint arrives in paragraph fourbusy readers never reach itthe BLUF openingWe are switching toMeridian on 1 May.the point in line onereasons can follow in peaceNational Archives: state your major point first, before going into details.The reader can stop anywhere after line one and still carry the message.

The term is US Army writing guidance: the greatest weakness in ineffective writing is that it does not quickly transmit a focused message. Their fix: state the bottom line first.

Context, then process, then options, and the recommendation in paragraph four, by which point the reader is gone.

Line one carries the decision, line two the deadline. Everything else is skimmable support.

Respect the skimmer. Even the reader who stops at line one leaves informed.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

Find the real point of a report you sent, the line you would say if interrupted. Move it to line one.

Part 2 of 5
Load the front, name the doer
2

Sentences that move

A sentence is a small machine for carrying one idea from you to a reader. Five moves that stop the machine stalling in its own opening words.


In this part
  1. 01Cut the throat-clearing
  2. 02Active voice

Throat-clearing is the warm-up writing you do before saying the thing: hoping, reaching out, developments. The move is to cut it and start at the thing.

Writing · No. 03
Sentences that move

Cut the throat-clearing

Fixes emails whose first paragraph contains no information at all

THE WARM-UP SENTENCES BUY NOTHING. THE READER PAID ATTENTION FOR THEM ANYWAY.a real opening, annotatedI hope this email finds you well.As you may be aware, there have been some developmentsI wanted to reach out regardingWe need a decision on the venue by Friday.costs asentenceThe email's only sentence with content in it was the fourth one.Courtesy survives the cut: a name and a full stop are still polite.

Every throat-clearing sentence is read on trust, waiting for the point it delays.

Purdue's OWL concision guide: words doing no work should be deleted; concise writing always uses the strongest words. Kindness is the brevity, not the words.

Delete the warm-up, keep the greeting if you want warmth, watch the email shrink by a third.

Say the thing. The reader thanks you in the only currency they have: attention.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

Draft your next email as usual, then delete the first paragraph before sending. If nothing vanished, it was throat-clearing.

Active voice puts the doer in front of the verb: Priya approved the refund. Passive hides the doer behind it: the refund was approved. The move is to lead with the doer unless you have a reason not to.

Writing · No. 04
Sentences that move

Active voice

Fixes sentences where nobody knows who is responsible for anything

ACTIVE: THE DOER LEADS. PASSIVE: THE DOER HIDES, AND WITH IT THE ANSWER.active, the doer actsSPriya approvedOthe refund.who, what, done: three questions answeredask 'who approved it', answer is word onepassive, the doer hidesOThe refund wasapproved.(by whom?)the reader's first question now has no answerPurdue OWL: active voice is usually clearer and more direct. Keep passive for when the doer is unknown or irrelevant.

Purdue's OWL: active voice is generally clearer, more direct, and more concise than passive.

Workplace passive is habit, not conspiracy: the decision was taken, and the reader's first question, by whom, floats unanswered.

Find the doer and let them lead. Keep passive when the doer is unknown or irrelevant: the samples were contaminated.

If responsibility matters, name the responsible party. Grammar will not.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

Search a draft for 'was' and 'were' plus a past participle. Where you know the doer, put them in front of the verb.

Jargon is shorthand for people who already understand it, and a locked door for everyone else. The move is plain words first, and a defined term only when the jargon is genuinely the right tool.

Writing · No. 05
Words

Plain words beat jargon

Fixes writing that impresses insiders and loses everyone else

JARGON IS A SHORTCUT FOR INSIDERS AND A WALL FOR EVERYONE ELSE.the jargon wallWe will leverage oursynergies to action thedeliverables going forward.which actions? whose things? when?the plain doorWe will use our contactsto finish these three tasksby the end of June.same people, same work, plain doorNational Archives: use everyday words. If you must use a technical term, explain it on first reference.Jargon is fine among insiders who share it. Check who is on the email before using it.

The National Archives principles: use everyday words; if you must use a technical term, explain it on first reference.

Leverage, synergies, actionables: readers outside the circle stop decoding, and the message dies in a glossary they never had.

Plain words reach everyone, including insiders. A real term of art, defined once, can stay.

Write to be understood, not to sound senior.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

Rewrite one paragraph of your most jargon-heavy email so a new starter understands it on one read.

Part 4 of 5
Order is a kindness
4

Structure

Skimming is how your document will actually be read. Five moves that make the skeleton carry the message even when the sentences are skipped.


In this part
  1. 01Headings that answer
  2. 02The inverted pyramid

Readers skim, and what they skim is the headings. The move is headings that carry the answer, not the topic: When will the fix ship, not Timeline.

Writing · No. 06
Structure

Headings that answer

Fixes documents whose headings label boxes instead of giving news

A HEADING IS THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION THE READER CAME WITH.topic headingOverviewGeneral provisionsheadings that hide the contentunder themquestion headingWhen will the fix ship?What does it cost?the skimmer gets answersfrom the skeleton alonePlain language guideline: question headings serve readers who arrive with questions. They are the strongest kind.

The federal guidance ranks heading types: question headings are strongest, statements next; topic headings are often too vague to help.

Read your headings in a row: if they form a list of boxes, the skeleton hides the message.

Write the reader's questions as headings, answer under each. The document then makes sense to someone who reads nothing else.

Headings are the version most people read.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

List a report's headings on a sticky note; hand a colleague the note only. What they cannot retell, the headings failed.

Journalists write the inverted pyramid: the most important facts in the widest band at the top, detail below, background at the tip. The move is to order by importance so the ending is the only thing expendable.

Writing · No. 07
Structure

The inverted pyramid

Fixes documents read halfway and still understood halfway

MOST IMPORTANT FIRST. THE STORY CAN BE CUT FROM THE BOTTOM AND STILL STAND.the most newsworthy informationwho, what, when, where, whyimportant detailsbackground, contextnice to havewidestnarrowestread firstcut firstPurdue OWL journalism: the inverted pyramid front-loads the most newsworthy information. BLUF is its office cousin.

Purdue's OWL, for journalism: most newsworthy information first, then details, then background, so the story can be trimmed from the bottom.

Email gets read halfway and reports get skimmed. Gold at the end sits in the one place guaranteed unread.

Rank your points, load the top band, let context sink. The pyramid is the shape; BLUF is its opening line.

Write so the reader who stops early still gets the news. Every reader stops early.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

Label each block of a page you wrote A, B or C by importance. Reorder so A comes first, then delete what you can of the tail.

The subject line is the one sentence everyone reads. Written well it is a promise the email then keeps. The move is to make it carry the message, the action, and the date.

Writing · No. 08
Editing passes

Subject line as promise

Fixes emails that get buried under subject lines that said nothing

THE SUBJECT LINE IS A PROMISE. THE EMAIL EITHER KEEPS IT OR BREAKS IT.the promise keptDecision needed: venue by Friline one asks for the decision.Email and line match.opened, acted on, findable laterthe promise brokenQuick questionhides a deadline, a decision,and three attachmentsunopened, unfindable, unansweredAction word plus noun plus date: Decision needed, venue, Friday. The inbox can sort that.

The subject line is BLUF in miniature: it is the only line every reader is guaranteed to see.

Vague subjects cost twice: unopened now, because Quick question promises nothing, and unfindable later, because search catches nothing.

Action, noun, date: Decision needed: venue by Friday. The reader can triage before opening.

Write the subject line last, when you know what the email says. Then keep the promise.

TRY IT THIS WEEK

Rewrite your next five subject lines as promises: action, noun, date. Watch replies come faster and threads stay findable.

Index

Index


Active voice9
Cut the throat-clearing8
Headings that answer12
Know the reader5
Lead with the point6
Plain words beat jargon10
Subject line as promise14
The inverted pyramid13